Betray Me Not My Grave
by Mephistophelian
Summary: Kei Uchiha was killed by Itachi on the same night as all the others in the Uchiha clan. But part of her lives on, a part that is seeking revenge. also, Kakashi is madley in love with her, that's important!
1. Default Chapter

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STORY: INTRODUCTION

Kei Uchiha.

She was an excellent shinobi. Second in her clan only to Itachi. It truly was a shame that she couldn't have been stronger. If she'd been stronger, she would have lived. Her whole clan would have. History would have changed. Things that were, perhaps, would not have been. If only she'd been stronger. If only.

As I said, it really is a shame. Because she wasn't stronger. She was not weak, she simply, was not strong enough.

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"Kei was destined to betray her clan."

That's what people used to say. They used to believe it. They thought Itachi would protect them from the threat within. That's why he was stronger. No one trusted her. Not her parents, her siblings, her aunts and uncles, not her grandparents. No one. She didn't trust them either.

They made sure Itachi was stronger. When the two of them were trained, he was given more attention. She didn't care. When they sparred together, they all cheered for him. She didn't care. When they praised him for his high marks at school, she didn't care. When they persecuted her, hated her. She didn't care. When Itachi killed them all, she cared.

She tried to stop him. No one knew why. Most people don't believe it. In fact, only two people do. Sasuke and Kakashi.

Only one person really knew her. Kakashi. He loved her. He stood at her grave when she died. He cried. No one else did. Only Sasuke. But Sasuke cried for his clan. She was among them, but he cried for them all. Then he stopped crying. He simply, stopped. He couldn't cry any longer, because no one comforted him.

Then, he swore vengeance. Kakashi didn't. He just, cried. He never really stopped.

No one knew Kakashi loved her, he was the only one. He had planned on telling her, he'd invited her to join him that night. He was a romantic at heart, so he wanted to tell her under the moon. That, and, he didn't want anyone else to know. He knew that there would be many people lurking in the shadows. They lived in a ninja village, after all. However, at night, he could hear much clearer, there weren't as many noises, so he could keep tabs on those around him.

She didn't need it to be night. She could hear everyone, regardless of the noises of life that would surround her. It was because she'd grown up alone. No one in her clan liked being associate with her. She never knew why, they'd never told her. Perhaps it was that her father was not accepted as one of theirs. He had been of the mist. They didn't trust the mist. Their ways were too violent.

Whatever the cause for her alienation, she was an expert when it came to pinpointing and spying. It was her specialty. She had sharpened and honed the skill, till it became second nature to her. Kakashi loved that about her. He could never sneak up on her. He'd surprised her once. Only once. He'd taken her picture. She hadn't expected it. She thought someone was going to attack her, so she had reached for her kunai.

He liked following her, as well. He tried to be sneaky, but failed at it. Terribly. She always knew where he was. After numerous times of catching the 'silver haired fool', as she called him, and threatening him should he continue to spy on her, she realized the game. She was surprised to find that she liked it. She learnt the art of teasing, and would usually stop to by an ice cream while he lurked from a distance. She found it enjoyable to eat the delicacy slowly, while Kakashi drooled on himself from some spot hidden in a tree.

He not only desired the ice cream, but her. He loved her. He had loved her for a long time. He used to watch her during class. She was always reading a book. He never caught the title, because when he thought he knew it, she would take it to the library and get another one. He always used to wonder why she did that. The Uchiha's had quite an extensive library. He knew her family didn't like her, but to the point she wasn't aloud to use their books?

He'd asked her once. He never forgot the answer. She said she hated them.

That was the only time she had ever lied to him.

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Authors Note:

Well, this intro has been completed. fun, wasn't it? Well, I thought so. Now, don't let yourselves be fooled, the whole story isn't going to be this perfectly vague, quite the contrary. However, I feel it adds to dramatic effect to allow the intro to be this way. Plus, it's fun to write in such a dramatic way.

Now, I am deviating from the actual story line of Naruto ever so slightly. Mainly on the way and such of the deaths of the Uchiha clan. Don't hate me for it, it was necessary for the story to progress. Also, just because I am working on a new story does not mean I will discontinue Die Tragodie von Johann Faust VIII. I will actually be working on that at school, and this, at home! fun!

Now, for the disclaimer!

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Disclaimer:

The Naruto characters along with their stories, backgrounds, and personalities are not mine. The only character I own is Kei, and just barely. Now, I beg of you not to sue me, because, well, your not going to make much of a profit. I can give you 1.10 that's it.


	2. Chapter 1

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Chapter 1

Hatake Kakashi ran through the forest with speed and agility accessible only to one of the best trained shinobi. He was in a hurry, and found the ability to run like a velvet footed beast, showing no sign of fatigue or weariness, very _advantageous._

As he ran, he checked his watch. 3:55. Well, two hours late wasn't _that _bad.

" Hi guys! Sorry I'm late! I had to destroy a colony of chipmunks from Hell so they wouldn't take over the world and ruin civilization as we know it." Kakashi lied, knowing how ridiculous the excuse sounded. However, he liked it much better than the real reason. He was late because of _her_. He'd gone to visit her this morning.

Actually, he visited her every morning. He always visited her in the mornings. Always had. It was the way things were.

He used to bring her gifts. She'd stare at him in that perplexed way of hers, as if she were going to give it back. But she always disappeared into her room, and when she returned, the gift was gone. Probably put in that special little box of hers, the one no one went into. It had a lock on it, covered in seals. Only she could open it, others who tried woke up tied to a tree out in the forest of death. She had no compassion.

However, Kakashi knew that she would watch over them as they tried to escape for their lives from the dreaded place. She would let animals get close to them, scare them, let them fight, but she would never let them be killed. Never. It was as if she loved them, regardless of how they treated her.

But now, now she didn't disappear into her room. She didn't take the gifts he brought her. She stayed in her tomb, her coffin prison, six feet under. Where he couldn't reach her, he couldn't see her.

" Sensei, sensei are you okay?" Naruto asked in his loud, intrusive voice which was, at the moment, tinged with worry.

" Hm? Oh, hello Naruto, how are you?" Kakashi answered as he realized that his student was standing directly in front of him. It displeased him that the boy could get this close with ought his knowing, however, if he were able to cover his emotion at the loss of his love, he could pretend to have known the yellow haired teen hadn't caught him off guard.

" Kakashi sensei, are you feeling well?" Sakura asked, concern for her teacher covering her features.

" What? Me? OH! Yes! I remember! You all have a mission!" Kakashi said triumphantly. Of course, he knew they had a mission, however, he liked to keep his young charges on their feet...

" A mission! Really! What is it this time! Does Hokage need us to protect some high up aristocrat type person from impending doom! OH! Or are we going to be fighting against a bunch of thugs! or"

" Actually, you were going to be helping another team with their mission. They are to protect a man named Kino Kadomaru from a group that calls themselves the Kuro Kuro Mura. They are a notorious group of thieves and renegade shinobi in that particular area." Kakashi said in a fairly impressed voice.

" R-Really?" Naruto asked, on the brim of joyous tears. " Oh, sensei! Thankyouthankyouthankyou!"

" Well, that sounds like fun." Sakura said, outwardly scorning Naruto's behavior, but on the inside she was just as excited.

" Why did you say, 'going'?" Sasuke, the ever observant one asked in his special way that gave off a clear message to any to dare oppose the question. Kakashi inwardly shivered. So much like Kei.

Except, Kei bore a small amount of humor in those eyes of hers, while Sasuke, he permitted himself to be completely consumed by the hate he felt. It truly was sad.

" Well?" The black haired shinobi asked, not truly angry, though equally unpleased.

" Why do you ask stupid questions, Sasuke!" Naruto sneered, obviously expecting Kakashi to enter into the conversation and confirm that they were, infact, going to be helping the other team. Poor Naruto, no such help was to be given.

" Because, your late. They said they were leaving promptly at 2:14. As you can see, it is now 4:10. You came all this way for nothing." Kakashi said in a matter-of-fact voice that only aided to make the event even more strenuous.

" What? LATE! WHY!" Naruto yelled, the tears now turning to those of utter sorrow.

" It just goes to show you, if your going to be late, you shouldn't bother to come at all." Kakashi said, silently reveling in getting a rise out of the boy. He knew, he should be helping him to learn to control his anger, and, in general, his emotions. But this was too much fun!

Also, he had wanted to say those words for a very long time. He was going to tell Kei that. She was late for their meeting and he had wanted to make her eyes dance with pleasure at the joke. She never laughed. However, he never got the chance. Itachi killed her that night. That's why she was late. She was dead. He couldn't hold it against her. Death is a good reason to not show up. But he wished she had come to meet him. She wouldn't have died then.

Besides, she hadn't really helped her family at all. They died, regardless of her attempts at saving them. Sometime he wondered if he had killed her first, or last. Or perhaps he merely happened upon her and killed her then. He knew who could answer the question, but he dared not bring up such painful memories. He had to live with the thought that she had died while he, ignorant of the massacre taking place, had sat on the bridge, staring down at his reflection and rehearsing what to say.

He knew the boy relieved those moments every hour of his life. He could see it in his eyes. But he seemed to have forgotten about Kei, it probably hurt too much to know that the one he persecuted and laughed at, was the only one who stood even the remotest of chances at defeating his greatest enemy. His brother. That she had tried to save them, or at least avenge them, and had died in the process. She bore no loyalties to their family, so it could not be comprehended that she would wish their enemy to die.

" Sensei, your doing it again." Sakura whispered, worry creasing her brow. Naruto was still whining about not being able to go on, as he put it, _'The mission to end all missions.'_

'You'll eat those words someday you narrow minded brat.' Kei would have said. She wasn't the biggest fans of the renowned 'famous last words.'

" I'm going home. I really don't need to put up with dead lasts complaints." Sasuke said in a partially amused, partially annoyed voice.

" Stop calling me dead last, jerk!"

" Idiot."

" bastard."

" I know! Let's have a picnic! We can have it at Sasuke's house! It'll be so wonderful!" Sakura exclaimed. She'd never been inside Sasuke's house and wasn't about to let the opportunity pass her by. In an instant she forgot about her worries for her teacher and was lost in a world of how this 'utterly perfect picnic' would turn out. Sasuke would declare his undying love to her, Naruto would accept it and give up on her, Kakashi sensei would laugh and say something witty! It would be perfect.

"What? No! We will jot be having a picnic at my house." Sasuke said indignantly. However, Sakura would not take no for an answer and ended up dragging Sasuke, who disagreed with the entire thing, and Kakashi, who really didn't want to go. Naruto followed willingly with the promise of food.

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Authors Note:

Okay, short, blunt, and to the point. The story will begin to progress now tht we've gotten the formalities out of the way. Anyway, I'd like to thank me one reviewer for reviewing! Thank you! _cries for lack of reviewers_

Anyway, once i think of a better summary I'll change it. I was just feeling very poetic at the time and I just let my fingers do there thing.

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Disclaimer:

Don't own. But now I can pay you 2.10. Whoopee for me!


	3. Chapter 2

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Chapter 2

Kakashi stared at the carved wood handrail that followed the spiraling staircase. He'd seen it before, once. Kei had invited him inside due to the cold weather. It had been snowing heavily the night before and still was, but Kakashi came to start the morning as he always did, by making a visit to Kei.

She had called him an idiot and grabbed his shirt, pulling him into the large mansion in the process.

" Why do you insist on doing these stupid things you fool?" She had murmured as she dusted off the snow that was covered on a shivering Kakashi. He had smiled like an idiot, regardless of the fact that she couldn't see his smile due to his mask.

" F-For y-y-you." He had said through chattering teeth, holding out his hand which contained a tiny gift for his beloved. Even though, she didn't know he called her that when she wasn't around.

It was a dragon. Or, rather, a mold of a dragon. It was made out of silver, and very poorly at that. Kakashi had shaped it for her himself, however, his silversmith skills were lacking. Kei didn't seem to mind, though. She had said nothing about the quality, only called him an idiot once more under her breath, and began to head up to her room.

She had walked up these very stairs, looking back on him like she had expected something, then he realized what it was. She was inviting him to follow her, or stand at the front door like an imbecile.

He had followed her, and was pleased when he entered her room. He had never been in it, only outside, perched on a tree that was one story too short causing him to be unable to see into the resting place of the one he loved.

The room itself was plain, but it reeked of her sent, that special scent of lavender and vanilla. It was her own smell, the one that intoxicated him whenever he was near enough to smell it.

Hanging on the wall was a painting of Konoha village, beside it was a picture of Hokage. It was the Uchiha's custom to have such things in there room, so that every day you saw your land, and your leader, and you remembered why you fought.

The bed was a simple matter, it had a deep crimson red blanket covering another blanket that peaked out from under the red. It was a regal purple lined with the darkest black. _'A bed for a goddess', _he had thought.

In one corner was a black desk and in another was a trunk. It was her box. Her special box. The one lined with seals to ward off any who were unwanted. He had seen her go over to it and open it, placing the tiny dragon into it. however, he had been unable to catch a glimpse of the contents.

" Sensei, are you coming?" Sasuke asked, still annoyed that Sakura had succeeded in having a picnic at his house. He hated having people here. He hated being here.

" Senseeeeeeeeeeeei! Sakura won't let us eat withough you!" Naruto complained loudly as he entered the room, seemingly starving to death. Kakashi chuckled, of course Naruto acted that way, it was Naruto after all.

As Naruto clutched his stomach and whined, moaning about pains in his belly from not eating, Sasuke's eyes seemed to change. They became sad, so terribly sad.

Right where Naruto stood, that's where his mother had been slain. The blood stains were still there, that's why he had put a carpet over it, to try and hide the memory, to block it out. It didn't work.

She had been clutching her stomach like that. Though, unlike Naruto, hers truly was in pain. She had a knife embedded in it. She had fallen over, demanding to know why, why her son would do this terrible thing. But he hadn't answered, he just looked at his mother and smiled. He had smiled! That sick, sadistic bastard had smiled as his own mother, the one who gave birth to him, lay dieing by his hand. How Sasuke loathed him.

" Hey, Sasuke, you alright?" Naruto asked his unresponsive teammate. The boy was staring at Naruto with eyes that made him want to shiver. They were so empty.

" Naruto, lets go. Sakura will be mad if no one eats her food." Kakashi said, trying to usher the young ninja out. However, he stayed rooted in place, concern etched on his face for his rival.

Kakashi knew what Sasuke was thinking about. The boy had been found in that spot all those years ago, arms wrapped round his dead mother. It pained him to think they'd reminded him of such a terrible thing.

Memories could be such hateful things.

" No, Sensei. Sasuke, Sasuke what's wrong?" Naruto asked in a somewhat urgent voice, he had never seen the other look that way.

" Naruto, let's go." Kakashi said in a sterner voice this time.

" But Sensei!"

" Naruto. You must leave Sasuke alone for now. He's not with us at the moment." Kakashi whispered dangerously.

"What do you mean?" Naruto asked worriedly. Kakashi sighed.

" I'm sorry to say, Naruto, but I believe you reminded him of his mother."

" What! His mother!"

" shh. Naruto, I don't think Sasuke wants Sakura to know about this. You, he might permit." Kakashi hurriedly tried to shush Naruto. It was true, Sasuke trusted Naruto.

" Know what?"

" You know Sasuke's family was betrayed by Itachi, correct?"

" Yes." Naruto cast his friend a worried glance.

" Naruto, Sasuke was there. He saw Itachi kill his clan. His mother was killed right where you are standing." Kakashi said in the gentlest voice possible, " He's reliving those events. Painful as they are, he can't let go of them."

" Oh my..." Naruto whispered, staring at Sasuke with compassion now. His parents were dead, but he didn't have to witness the slaughter of his entire family. Brothers, sisters, aunts, uncles, cousins, and all. How terrible.

" C'mon, Naruto, Sasuke wouldn't want us to be here when he wakes from this dream."

" No. I won't go anywhere." Naruto said in a stubborn voice. "Sasuke is my friend, even if he is a big jerk."

Naruto turned around and gave Kakashi a big grin. " I wanna help him."

Kakashi was shocked, to say the least. Naruto really did care for Sasuke. Though, he wished he'd show it more often.

" Alright. I'll be going then." Kakashi said as he headed across the room and out into the back yard. Once Kakashi was gone, Naruto looked back to Sasuke, his grin faded as he walked over to stand next to the boy, awaiting when he would 'wake up'.

" Sasuke, you bastard, stop dwelling on the past. It only makes you hurt worse." He mumbled.

* * *

" Sensei! Finally, where's Sasuke and Naruto?" Sakura asked, afraid that the two were going at it again.

" Oh, they're having some quality time together." Kakashi said in a mysterious, playful voice. Bending the truth was fun and advantageous.

" Quality time? What do you mean by that?" Sakura demanded.

" I believe that is a secret that I shall keep." He said to the pink haired kunoichi, who seemed to be getting frustrated.

" Sensei--" She began, only to be interrupted by Kakashi's waving hand.

" Never you mind about them. I'm hungry, what have we got to eat here?" Kakashi said in an attempt to change the subject, which, miraculously, worked.

" You can't have anything till we're all here." She said in a stern tone.

" But, I'm your teacher." He said pathetically.

" Yes, which means you especially should have to wait."

" Why?"

" Because! You should have more self discipline!"

" But I wannnaa eeeatt!" Kakashi moaned.

" I don't care."

" What if I die of starvation?"

" I'll say something nice at your funeral."

" Mew?"

" huh?" Kakashi looked around.

" What is it, Sensei?" Sakura asked in a confused voice.

" I thought I heard a cat." He said.

" I didn't hear anything."

" There is a cat here."

" What makes you so sure of that?" Sakura asked in a skeptical voice.

" The fact that it's eating your meal is among the things that tipped me off." Kakashi said in a completely serious voice. Sakura looked down at the food she had set out on a blanket under a rather large tree, and sure enough, there was a cat eating away.

" Its--its--SO CUTE!" Sakura squealed in delight. The cat was rather large, but still appeared as if it were a kitten. With soft orange fur, long kitty legs and innocent yellow eyes, it was as if it were some wild beast. However, the collar around it's neck told a different story.

The collar was made of plain black leather, with a small shimmering jewel in the middle. It seemed a bit worn and the gem was scratched beyond repair. Apparently, this kitten had been on its own for some time.

" He's so cute!" Sakura said again, petting the thing as it ate the meal she had carefully prepared.

" You mean she." Kakashi said as he too began petting it.

" No, I mean he."

" She."

" He."

" _He_, is a boy. And _I_ think I'll name him Taka"

" We'll _she _is a girl and _I'll _name her Maemi"

"Grr." The two glared at each other, both intent on their beliefs.

" _His _name is Miya, and he belonged to my cousin." Sasuke's voice called from the door way, Naruto just behind him.

" OHH! See Sensei! He is a boy!" Sakura yelled triumphantly.

" At least my name was closer than yours."

" No it wasn't."

" Yes it was."

" How so?"

" My name started with the same letter."

" Big whop! I had the gender right!"

" hmph."

" You had a cousin with a cat?" Naruto asked as he looked at the thing, it seemed very, un cat like to him.

" Yes. She genetically engineered it to be stronger than anbu dogs. He could whip all your little 'puppies' with ease, Sensei." Sasuke sneered. However, Kakashi did catch the glint of sadness in his eyes.

" Which cousin?" He asked. He never knew any of the Uchiha's practiced science to such a degree.

" Kei." Sasuke said. Kakashi froze, this was Kei's? Her 'little temple'? She ha told him of it. Said she was making a temple, a little temple. He had always thought she had meant a literal temple, not a kitten temple. How did that work? How was the kitten a temple?

he looked at Miya carefully. He still couldn't understand.

" You can keep him. I don't like having him around." Sasuke said as he approached.

" What makes you think I want him?" Kakashi asked, now staring at Sasuke.

" _'The idiot wants to meet me tonight. Tell him I was busy and couldn't come.'_ That's what Kei said before she died. I wasn't ignorant, Kakashi. you were the only person who talked to her. Inside or outside of the clan. Keep the little beast, I don't want it." Sasuke said as he glared at the kitten, who just stared back at him in a familiar way.

Kakashi was speechless. Kei had used her last to tell him sorry? True, it was her own unique sorry, but sorry none the less. And Sasuke knew this whole time how he had felt about his most hated cousin. Perhaps, he even knew where he went in the mornings. Why he was always late.

Sasuke would make a great ninja. He was so much like Kei.

" You admire her, don't you?" Kakashi said suddenly, to the confusion of both Sakura and Naruto.

" Of course. She tried to save us, even when we hated her. Anyone who wouldn't admire her is a fool." Sasuke said as he looked away. his day had been hard on him. First, he had to relive the deaths of his clan, and now he was forced to talk openly about the only cousin he truly loved.

" Okay everyone! Time to go!" Kakashi said in a suddenly bright mood.

" But, Sensei, the picnic."

" Has been eaten by Miya. I think It's high time we all head home." He said, quickly ushering them out of the Uchiha mansion.

" Hmph. Fine." Sakura said, her dreams of the 'perfect picnic' dashed to pieces.

" Sensei, could I just, stay with Sasuke? Please?" Naruto begged.

" I suppose, but if he wants you to go, then go." Kakashi said sternly.

" Ok! Oh, Sensei, aren't you going to take your cat?" Naruto asked, looking at the cat who had followed them to the door.

" Of course." he said as he bent down and picked the thing up. He was as big as some of his anbu dogs.

" Come Miya, your going to be my new best friend."

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Authors Note:

Okay, so, what now? Right, I think I'll let you know, Miya means temple. Yes, Miya is Kei's 'little temple' because she is a kitten. Not much else to say except, I am amazed I've been updating like this. Cocl, ne?

Well, toodles!

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Disclaimer:

Don't own. Ain't that sad?


	4. Chapter3

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Chapter 3

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" Miya, wake up. I need you." Kei cried out softly as Sasuke's quivering form ran over to his mother. She had just asked the boy, the only survivor of the bloody massacre, to deliver a message for her. It was for Kakashi. He'd wanted to meet her tonight, said he had something to tell her. She wanted to go, truly she did. But she was dieing, bleeding to death. At the moment, she was utterly immobile. All she could do was to call out for her Miya, her little Miya.

" Miya!" She tried, louder. Yet her voice was still naught but a whisper. However, the kitten heard her.

" Myow?"

" Miya, Miya, come to me." Kei cried. She hadn't cried since she was five. Her cousins had beat her up, then. This moment was very similar, her cousin had beat her up. Only this time, she would die.

Her body would, at least. But thanks to her temple, her Miya, her mind would live on. She was, after all, a spirit channeler. She had mastered the skill in the laboratory. Not on the battle field or during training. It was her greatest and most perfected skill, and she had never used it in active combat, that's not what it was for.

Miya had been made for a moment such as this.

She knew what Itachi had planned. She knew he'd kill them. He'd always told her so, ever since they were little. He was an incestuous bastard. He wanted her for himself. Infact, she was the only person from their clan he liked, and possibly, too much.

He had always tried to get her to join him, to help him be rid of the accursed Uchiha clan. Of course, she'd always rebuked him, along with his advances on her. That's why her clan hated her, they believed that her 'evil blood', the blood of the mist, had corrupted their beloved Itachi. Their pride and joy, the one they aimed to save from the 'devil' in their presence.

They were idiots, all of them. But she couldn't help protecting them. They were her family, even if she despised them.

But back to the present, she had made Miya to be the perfect vessel for her soul. The way she would conquer Itachi. In 16 years, the kitten would be full grown and capable of harboring her soul. However, she would have to risk entering the feline now, and hopeful she would not smolder it's own soul with hers. If that happened, he would be useless.

You see, Miya was created to fight. Once he was full grown, he would be as powerful as the nine tailed Kyuubi. He would, in essence, become, the nine tailed fox. Capable of taking the shape of a human, a cross breed, or that of the cat. He would reach powers beyond that of any human. However, he would think like a beast, that's where Kei's soul would come into play.

She would control him, lead him. Sometimes, she would have to relinquish control to him, and, if this premature entrance into the kitten worked, she would have to give him full control till he became a full grown cat, else his soul would be lost and the body would die.

" Miya, let me in you..." Kei whispered now, placing her hand on the kittens head.

" Myow?"

Then Kei died. She placed her soul in a dark corner of Miya's mind to await the time when he was full grown. Then she could have revenge on Itachi. Then she could kill her cousin.

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Authors Note:

Umm.. yeah... this is a flashback of sorts. You probably realized that this is Kei before she died, along with the back story on Miya. If you failed to catch where I was going with this, allow me to clear it up, Kei created Miya in a lab. Miya was made because Kei knew Itachi was planning on killing their clan. Also, Itachi likes his cousin, a lot, that's important.

Now, Miya is going to, basically, become a demon, like Kyuubi, but he'll still think like a cat, so Kei is going to enter into his body and wait till he's old enough that his body can handle two souls at onceafter which she will use Miya's powers to brutally and mercilessly slaughter Itachi. Fun.

Also, forgive the shortness of the chapter, and the time it took to update. Heehee. Almost out of school, so update time will get better then.

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Disclaimer:

Yeah, you all know I can't pay for a lawyer or afford your lawsuits. However, my money count has gone up to $5.20! yay for me!


	5. Chapter 4

**Chapter 4**

Sasuke yawned, stretched, and sat up. He felt remarkably well rested. In fact, he'd never felt this good in…. He'd _never_ felt this good. Not that he could remember, at least. He permitted himself a small smile, wondering idly why he felt this wonderful. Maybe Naruto poisoned him. He grimaced. He glanced at his clock. He looked away. He stood up. He dressed. He walked downstairs. He saw Naruto resting peacefully on his couch, snoring lightly and looking generally like an adorable little puppy. He proceeded to beat the crap out of Naruto.

"AHHH! Sasuke, you bastard! What are doing?" Naruto demanded as he attempted to defend himself from the blood thirsty beast known as Sasuke Uchiha. He really wasn't having much luck with that.

"You turned my alarm off you moron!" Sasuke growled in fierce anger as he continued to beat the crap out of Naruto. When he'd looked at the clock earlier that morning he'd noticed two things. One, it was three hours later than it should have been. They had a mission today, at least, Kakashi sensei said they had a mission, which probably meant they would end up cleaning his apartment again. Really, that actually was a remarkable training session because you never did know when the piles of laundry would rise up in a torrent of evil uncleanliness and attempt to murder you in cold blood, much less if you'd get hopelessly lost amongst the clutter and end up on the back of a milk carton wishing that you'd at least combed your hair before taking the photo.

Second, he became aware of a layer of dust growing at an alarming rate.

Sasuke swung his fist at Naruto, who finally began to slip out of his sleep induced 'utter disbelief at what was happening to him' and finally slip into the 'Oh, someone's trying to pulverize me, I ought to do something about that' thinking style. He managed to dodge the oncoming fist and to stay out of the way of anything moving beyond human speed, though that of course made staying out of the way of things that weren't moving beyond human speed, namely, the things that weren't moving at all, just a tad bit difficult. He tripped over a nearby shoe. Actually, he tripped on his nearby shoe.

"I just thought you could use the rest!" Naruto tried vainly to reason with his angry friend. If you've ever attempted to invite a raging bull to a Gothic Lolita themed tea party while wearing a fantastic red baby doll dress you will know how difficult it was for Naruto to try explaining himself. In the end, it never does work out how you'd planned. He ended up with a nicely clad foot in his face.

"And who, exactly, gave you the permission to decide when I need to sleep in?" Sasuke growled dangerously. It was a rhetoric question, unfortunately, Naruto didn't own a dictionary so he hadn't a clue what the word rhetoric meant, but even if he did own a dictionary it wouldn't have mattered because it never does any good to look up words you don't know in a dictionary while an enraged friend has their foot planted flat on your face with a rather good sum of their body weight pressing down. His gurgled reply may have been either:

"Well, you feel better don't you?"

Or:

"Intrepid mars dwellers own you."

Sasuke was unsure which one it was that Naruto said, and he did have to admit, he felt marvelous. But he didn't really like the idea of being a slave to intrepid martins so he gave Naruto a swift kick to the face, just to be safe.

* * *

Kakashi was now sitting, dejectedly, at the base of his beloveds tomb. In his hand was a bouquet of stems and crumpled tissue paper all mashed into a barely recognizable ball. He sighed deeply, pulled his stretched out mask over his face. Sighed again. Growled angrily as his mask fell off his face once again and settled itself nicely at his clavicle looking remarkably like a small black scarf with little frays around what looked like teeth marks. He had had a very bad morning. A very, very bad morning. Apparently, his 'new best friend' was a morning person. A morning kitten. A morning kitten of hyperactive evilness and kleptomania with an unbelievable dislike for roses.

"I'm sorry Kei, I tried to save the roses for you, but that temple of yours is a nasty little thing. Look what he did to my mask!" Kakashi whispered to the deceased, then glared a bit at a nearby tomb. "Haven't you ever heard of privacy?"

* * *

As Kakashi lectured the tomb of 'Yoh Asakura' (Sorry, I couldn't help myself) on the importance of not eves dropping on other people, particularly neighbors, Sakura stood uncertainly on the bridge that cell 7 had taken to meeting on. She could have sworn that Kakashi had told them to meet here. He had, hadn't he? She thought he had. No, she knew he had. So where were they? She had expected Kakashi sensei to be late. He always was. But what about Sasuke kun? He was always prompt and on time. Always. Naruto… well, you never knew if he was going to be on time or not… But Sasuke! Maybe she had heard sensei wrong, maybe there was no mission. She supposed she'd just go home then….

Miya smiled happily as he sat in the midst of his recent literary victem. He'd grown bored with sitting inside Kakashi's home so he decided to play with the books. Now, all of Kakashi's Icha Icha Paradise novels lay, torn and battered around the kitten who felt rather pleased and fulfilled. He lay down for a well deserved nap.

**Authors Note:**

OMG! I updated! Well, anyway, I wrote this piece to satiate you all, so maybe you wouldn't ravage me. Please don't ravage me. Please.

I was feeling a bit, happy and peppy (Which is exactly why I can't work on Die Tragodie von Johann Faust VIII) so everything I've been writing lately are either unbelievable funny, or plainly silly. I can't stop it, I've tried. Believe me, I've tried. Anyway, I hope you all enjoyed this, even if it was a bit…. Off… It's still part of the story. I'll try to be a little more serious.

Who am I lying to again?

Oh, yes, you. Honestly, I'm not even going to attempt to be serious, but I will attempt to finish the story. I may be a bit upbeat right not, but the story is still going according to plan. Toodles my darlings!

**Disclaimer:**

I don't own any of them Shocking, isn't it? I know I had a heart attack too.


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